LOVE, PAIN,JOY

Love is an irrefutable act of kindness followed by lashes of bitterness that slash’s your skin like sun rays on a hot day when the sun is at its peak.

Love is a warm refuge. we use to hide form the worldly pain. we see and feel daily as we are bound to this earthly plain by our fleshly existence.

Love is that agonizing pain in the pit of our stomachs. That starts to fester up as we lay awake at night thinking over years past until we feel nauseous.

Love is the feeling of a warm trickle of blood running down our spin as the knife thrust deeper then with a pricing twist the pain is over.

Love is like the moon high in the sky that appears to move further away the closer we get what a cruel joke.

Love is an action word that brings familiar circumstance every time it’s used always ending in a repetitive sea of bliss.

Taboo

Why do we as men always want to indulge in the things we are not supposed to have. We dig and dig until our superficial wounds become Gaping unbearable wounds. That only time can heal, but if we don’t indulge in our own affections. The shoulda,coulda,wouldas would tarnish our souls, so we play Russian roulette with our man hood until we’re old and grey. Only to sit an wish we were still young and vigorous. So that we could ravel and bask in the glory of committing taboo acts once again.

WHEN. I. SAW. HER.

Perfection on a page. I have never saw true beauty on a profile page.

that radiates and shines through the characters that she types 
it is in every syllable that forums each word on her page.

From first letter to the last period on the page.

It like an enigma how you spew beauty

through every thing that you do its undefinable, unforgettable not to mention unrelatable!!!

It’s the thought that counts

As I swing and sway and blow that way and this I still manage to think of you through my ups and downs and life’s round and rounds I still mange to think of you through long stressful nights and hard worked days I still manage to think of you through all the love and the hate I still mange to think of you so I say all of that to remind you it’s the thought that counts 

New found affirmation

Yesterday I found it just what I have always been looking for, I found it.  I found it just what i have always been looking for, I found it after a few keystrokes and a some signed pages of documents. He finally came to me.He said iv been calling your phone A long time son. I’m glad you finally picked up, now take my hand and walk with me but this time they’ll be no foot prints left in the sand. only a everlasting impression on your heart to do just and speak wisdom, to those that cross your path to love happiness and prosperity. In his closing words he said son now take this gift and return to the masses ,for I have many more calls to make.

Negative current

As I sit here in a fixed position I can still feel the magnetic pull of its negative current trying to drown me trying to pull me deep down below the surface weighing me down with negativity. And guilt Trying to force me below the surface with there cliché brands with jump man signs,swooshes and LV pasted all over them.Trying to use gold chianz as anchors to hold me at bay while they deafen and try to disorient me with sounds foreign to my soul. They try to trip me with the guilt of not being a contributor to main stream society in hopes that I’ll never reach the surface again hoping to bury me with the likes of other influential figures never to be heard from again in the main stream.

The truth

Their are moments spent pondering between sheer disgust and utter despair. not knowing rather to hit my knees and pray for guidance,or lace my kicks up and prepare for war. This gos out to all the kids that ever felt what I felt.and been through fatherless homes, Broken Hearts, and jail cells. This is for all the prayers that fall on deaf ears. For all the people that try to be positive in this world of negativity. I hate how people walk around with fake ass smiles on their faces. While they pretend to lend helping hands only to kick you back down when nobody’s looking. This gos out to all the kids that felt what I felt. That have been lied to, cheated on and stole from.This gos out to the fucked up judicial system that never herd of justice. That puts us in chains, like the ones we adorned in days of slavery. without ever hearing our side of the story. This gos out to all of the lost kids just trying to find there way home. Back to where it all first began, but steadily being pulled back by worldly bullshit. That others in positions of power tell us is important,but in our hearts we know everything these people in power believe in is small,minuscule ,minute. dam near obsolete, compared to what we know to be true,but most people are to scared to speak up and overflow with the truth. we are filled with while others that are involved in clandestine activity have no problem spewing lies and hatred. This is for all the kids who seek a higher truth. This is for all the kids just like me.!

Silence

The silence between us is our trade mark it’s not a derivative of negativity nor, is it because of a absence of words it just belongs between us like the the dew to the grass on a warm Summer morning it’s our certainty of uncertainty; it signifies our love, for our love it is A symbol of the strength of our bond, and it’s a whisper of unspoken desires and lust for each other. But for tonight we can just lay here under the stars an listen to the loud thud of our hearts as we consummate our lustful desires.

A letter to my dad

Dear dad,
Hi, although I have never met you, hell, I don’t even know your name, but I felt obligated to write this for some strange reason unbeknownst to me. I’d like to start my letter by saying thanks for all you have done for me; I mean that sincerely. You made me one hell of a man. I know there are lots of fatherless children in the world, but like they say, every body handles shit differently. It made me a cold hearted tough skinned child, and i grew up to be an even colder  hearted, tougher skinned man. You made me crave for knowledge. I felt like if my dad was the only thing in life I didn’t know, and I learned everything else that I could then I felt Like I made out pretty good . I also have to give you your props…you must have been a fly guy in your day because of what the lady’s tell me…I’m pretty handsome, so thanks for that.
now, I wanna tell you about me, and all the wonderful things you missed out on my life like my school years.. I turned out to be a pretty good athlete; I played baseball, foot ball, and I’m a pretty good boxer. So, I like to imagine you where a pretty good athlete also. But who knows. I’m also a high school grad. I know that don’t sound like much, but these guys in my generation have like a 1 in 10 grad rate; therefore, I think I did good; I’m also a college student with a mind for Business. I have four beautiful kids…so yeah, I made you a grandad…not that you’ll ever know.
Last but not least, I wanna just talk. I wanna talk about how I imagine you. I always say to my self: my dad is a successful Business man or an athlete. Some times I even pretend you was a big dope dealer….Someone like Frank Lucas. I wonder are you religious? Did you find God,or did u find jah like me. Actually jah is the reason I’m writing this. He spoke to my heart while I was jogging a few minutes ago. He told me to clear my heart and mind. To let my past stop dimming my light so I can have a bright future. So with that being said, thanks dad for my looks, my athletic abilities, and my strength.
Sincerely,your bastard child

Just getting by

Just getting by I been there a while. Not knowing what’s for dinner. Not knowing what tomorrow may bring. I hoped every night that tomorrow would bring a better day,But it didn’t. It only brought more struggle and sorrow. People say that kinda shit builds character,But what is character worth in a world full of fakes. I’m like fuck it. I got to get out here and make it I’m tired of just getting by ,But hell it ain’t no where to turn. The streets only get you locked in a cage,Or dropped six feet deep in a box. Can’t go to the government there out of order. And doing your own thing takes money.can’t find a job for all the reasons above,So what is there left to do. Where is there to turn. I guess I’ll keep on getting by.